Magical Dust

I’ve been doing a great deal of soul searching and something caught me off guard the last few days.

As I sat in a field, watching fawns play, I started thinking about those little moments that impact us in big and little ways. Those moments of calm that hit while on a hike, the sense of protection and peace being held as I drift off to sleep, or just a moment looking around a full table of people feeling blessed.

As I’ve contemplated these moments, I got thinking about something. In our room inside our heads that hold our memories, good and bad, I think there’s a little dust in there.

Our big memories are captured in large images for instant recognition and replay. But what about those little memories? Those peaceful moments spent watching the sun rise or set?

The peaceful, calm memories create tiny little particles into what brings us joy. I envision my own as dust. Dust particles that float on the air, stir up when you start moving around.

Those same particles that look gray and lifeless, until you open the window and they sparkle and shine in the sunlight. Those same particles that move around and cover old memories, like photographs hanging on the wall.

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They aren’t picky about where they land. Good memories are dulled a little but they are still vivid. Bad memories on the other hand get a protective dust coating, that will sparkle in the sunlight.

Those little moments, equivalent to pennies, still add up. They create piles and piles of dust. Our bad memories, like dollars, aren’t worth much until they get old. As they age, they cover in the proverbial dust. We never brush or clean those memories off. They end up obscured by that film of dust memories.

Our good memories are like a hundred dollar bill. Those ones you keep banked for rough days. Every so often, we pull them out, dust them off and put them back. All that kicked off dust, heading to land on other memories.

As I sit and enjoy the peaceful solitude today, I’m building more dust motes. I’m storing them up inside my vault of memories. Only the peaceful, calm and blissful moments create these little particles that sparkle in the sun.

The power is yours to build that dust. To take note and take stock of those fragments of moments that make you catch your breath or set you at ease.

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Throw open those windows and kick up that dust! Pull out a few great memories and let that dust settle on the bad. Eventually, they will be nothing but glittering dust. Something beautifully covered to the trained eye that will look past the fracture moment to the particles of love, peace and bliss. 

Magic is believing in yourself, if you can do that, you can make anything happen. ~ Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

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Love’s Little Conundrum

I grew up on Disney movies.  I am a sucker for the good triumphing over evil, the underdog pulling through in the end, true love’s first kiss, and that whole Happily Ever After bit. Now that appeals to me, quite a bit.  Throw in a pretty gown and a sparkling tiara and I’m sold on the fairy tale.

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Shockingly, with Disney-esque expectations, love has proved to be quite a conundrum as the reality of the day AFTER Happily Ever After kicks in.

I suppose, to be fair Mr. Disney did have Cinderella work her butt off, Sleeping Beauty did have to battle a jealous fairy, Snow White was dealing with her own issues on jealousy.   Ariel made some pretty ill advised decisions and Jasmine showed quite a temper.  So I probably could have been more prepared if I’d been looking for the cues.

Trouble is, we expect the hard part to be the finding of and falling into love.  That once you have it within your grasp, the easy part begins.

And that really is love’s biggest conundrum; as easy as it is to love someone’s heart and soul, the everyday reality of dealing with them is really, really hard!

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Nothing could have ever really prepared you for that moment when those walls finally fell and let someone truly into your heart, how vulnerable and complete you would feel.   There was no guideline to prepare for the sense of camaraderie when the two of you shared your plans, fears, and desires or the the heartbreak of that first real argument, when that information was used against you in the heat of the moment as cannon fodder.  Not an inkling of what it would be like to watch your partner get sick, or the immense relief of knowing that they would be ok and you played a role in their recovery.   And what about the things that even love can’t fix?

I’ve learned that life, and love, is far more complicated than I ever imagined.  But it’s intricacies offer breathtaking moments, harsh lessons, and above all, joy.  In a world where so many focus on filters, Photoshop, and staged photo ops is it any wonder that we have such unrealistic expectations of something as romanticized as love?  And yet, by placing such grandiose requirements we miss out on the joy of the real connection that we are desperately seeking.

Conundrum

Being Different

We are all born with our little quirks, some are learned. Doesn’t matter how we got them, it’s the total sum of them all that makes us all unique.

I’ve heard so many times in my life that I dance to the beat of my own drum. Until later in life, I could never understand what that really meant.

There aren’t many other woman out there like me, and none are exactly the same.

I’m a farm girl. Stubborn, determined, take no shit from anyone kind of girl. That’s the bare bones of how I am. I’ll bet you all just got a mental image of who you think I am and how I dress. You’d be very wrong.

I’m a dedicated and life long dirt track racing fan. Tough, full of grit and not afraid to get greasy. That’s the second part of who I am. Did your mental picture of who I am just change?

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I’ll throw a few more kinks in there. 

I’m a marketing professional. Data and analytics driven. Computer savvy and a research queen. A geek for numbers, data and demographics. A geek for design software and new artistic design of logos and websites.

I’m a photographer that loves to capture moments of peace and tiny creatures like butterflies. I love capturing those tiny moments of awe and wonder.

Now what kind of image you have?

Most days you’ll find me in stained up blue jeans and t-shirts working around the farm but I can also pull off the power suit and super high heels that will rock any straight male in their shoes.

It’s all parts I’ve played to be completely and total me. I’ve met the homeless man on the street. I’ve flyfished in hip waders and a dress. I’ve sat in meetings with powerful figures and I’m at home with it all.

What makes me unique is my adaptability. I never forgot that we are all each individual people, no matter how much money or lack there of. We all want the same thing. It’s called RESPECT.

I have other things that make me unique too. A mind that spins a million miles a minute that helps with problem solving and building marketing campaigns. A sense of humor that’s as good as most comedians and I’m sure not afraid to make fun of myself either.

We all have those quirks about what we do and how we do it. What makes us fully unique is embracing all of them as a whole and just being who we are meant to be.

If we were all the same, life would be so boring! Celebrate the difference. Even if it’s only with yourself, within yourself. Dance to the music of your own drum like no one is watching!

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